Founding a Religion for Dummies
A complete step by step guide to establishing and running a religion

§8. Know Thy Enemies

1. Critically minded individuals (CMI).
   In the first place, hardly any of these will ever become your customer (the good news is they won't join your competition either). However, specimens are known to have appeared in the most devoted customer families. Normally, the shattering process is very slow and rarely successful: your potential and actual clients tend to protest against any thinking activity that CMIs try to provoke in them. To make matters better for you, most CMIs come in only two flavors: (a) hysterical or (b) silent, which prevents their views from significant spreading.
   
   Most unfortunately, once in an undefined period there appear CMIs who happen to develop an appropriate and massively understandable way of expression. Never underestimate this critical peril. Don't hesitate to track them down and terminate. Obviously, you will need a thoroughly trained group of professionals for scanning your clientele, searching and neutralizing the discussed threat.
   
   
2. Uncontrolled access to the competitions' promotional materials.
   Failing to isolate your customers by any sort of borders may lead to unendorsed intercorporational contacts and exchange in the rabble strata. As a manager, you undoubtedly know that every religion project was, is and will be built on common concepts and operated along exactly the same lines. It's understood that the idea of religion can be compared to Winamp with different skins. Revealing this to the customers, however, may lead to your bankruptcy. Should they notice the un-originality of your God and everything that followed, they may choose to
   1. Defect to your competition. This is reparable. As long as they don't notice that all religion businesses are indiscernible, they will continue to "compare" and "choose". To lure them back you can use special offers, new revelations, free tours to sanctuaries*, bonus musical disks, stickers, bubble gum, glass trinkets, and/or a mess of pottage.
      
      * Define appropriate locations for crucial events which "long ago had happened" in your religion. "Find" ruins and objects in these locations. Hire archaeologists and historians to confirm their authenticity. Ideally, hire their opponents to disprove the former ones. This will make customers think that the subject of the discussion not only exists, but is gravely important, too.
   2. Unsubscribe from your religion project completely. Not because of its peculiarities, but because it is a religion project. This is especially dangerous if an unsubscriber has any degree of influence on your other clients. In this case, consider him/her a CMI and proceed accordingly.
3. Any true choice. Never offer options that do not benefit you. You may, however, make one of the options look less attractive to make the whole thing resemble a real choice. Always stress that you gain nothing, no matter what a client selects. This will result in faster decision-making among customers — and better ROI for you, no matter what they opt for.
Good luck and God bless you.